Fit for Life: Damn I’m Old. But Getting Wiser

Saturday, September 14, 2019

Matt Espeut, GoLocalWorcester Health +Lifestyle Contributor

Matt Espeut

So it was that time of year again that I add another digit to my age.

September 9, I celebrated my 51st birthday, and I still can’t fathom that I am over a half century old, and I am into the second half of life.

With that being said, I wanted to share some of my tactics and experiences with you that help me cope with everyday life.

I always try to see the positive side of aging and do whatever I can to slow the process.

I eat well, workout every day, sleep 7-8 hours per night, and attempt to keep my stress levels at a minimum.

I even put myself through 75 hours of torture by attending a Navy Seal training program called the project, just so I could be tested physically, mentally, and emotionally beyond my limits.

I try to control what I can, cope with what I can’t, and concentrate on what’s important, so I can utilize my time and energy as effectively and efficiently as possible.

The good side of aging is that as we get older, we gain more experience and knowledge, and have the ability to solve problems and create better solutions for setbacks when we encounter them in our lifetime.

Another thing that I realized happens as we get older, is that our skin gets thicker, and adversity doesn’t set me back or derail my thought process as much.

I try to be proactive with my thoughts as opposed to being irrational and reactive towards unfavorable circumstances that arise.

This isn’t something that came naturally to me.

It has taken me a lot of time and effort to fight through my negative thought processes and become more solution-based as opposed to letting my emotions get the best of me and throw me into depression and anxiety.

I learned a lot by attending conferences and seminars, going to therapy, and having real conversations with myself to help me understand that life comes at us fast and hard, and how we cope with things determines the outcome of our circumstances.

In order to put things in prospective, here are a few things I tell myself on a regular basis that helps me chug through life with a positive outlook.

I am responsible for everything in my life, and that gives me the power and control to change my circumstances.

This means that if something is going wrong, it’s up to me to fix it. Business slow, market harder. Members quit, get new ones. Tired during the day, get to bed earlier. No time find time.

Whatever it is, it’s up to us to own it and fix it.

Complaining about a bad circumstance won’t help it or make it better.

We all need help from others.

I learned this a while back that it's ok to ask for help, and that you can’t grow on your own.

My business wouldn’t run smoothly without my team.

I wouldn’t know as much as I do without my mentors.

I always feel great leaving the therapist, and it’s not a stigma anymore to seek professional help and have a confidential set of ears to talk to.

Having coaches to help me through tough times has been a game-changer, and without help, we will stunt our growth.

Pain and pleasure NEED to be temporary emotions, or they will cripple you.

We experience both feelings on a physical and emotional level, however, we have more control over the emotional side, and we need to act on each feeling before they control us into a negative situation.

Pain is temporary and the sooner we realize that, the faster we can get rid of it, or dull the sting.

When someone dies, or a relationship ends, it’s up to us to determine how this will affect us.

We can either let it crush our spirit and drive us to depression or other unhealthy thoughts, or we can let it be a temporary emotion and work through it.

The suck factor will always be there, however, when you think deeply enough, you will realize that you will be ok and it’s important that you get up quickly and continue to live life.

Pleasure can also hurt us by creating complacency.

Look at sports. When a team gets ahead then loses the game, it’s because they lost their drive and became complacent.

In sales, when you have a good month, you get complacent and let off the accelerator, then tank the following month.

When you overindulge in tasty foods that aren’t healthy, your health suffers.

Complacency in relationships will help them lose their spark.

Always celebrate victories, and give yourself credit, but make the celebration temporary, and keep pushing forward.

Don’t let immediate pleasure and those quick hits of dopamine hold you back from the next level.

Celebrate a bit, then ask “what’s next?”

The universe doesn’t care about your problems, so stop using them as excuses.

Grew up poor. Raised by a single parent. Hurt in an accident. House burned down. Pet died.

Life goes on.

These are legit problems that weren’t your fault, but nobody cares except a few people in your inner circle.

EVERYONE has problems, setbacks, and deals with adversity, so why are you any different, and why should these things hold us back?

People use what happened in their past dictate who they are today and blame their lack of success on things that need to be overcome.

I have a lot of compassion for people that get shortchanged in life, however feeling sorry for someone, or coddling them won’t help their situation.

It’s easy to blame your past problems for your current situation, however, nobody is going to come over and hand you an easy life because you had it tough.

It’s up to us to control our current circumstances and dictate our own destiny.

Dislike your boss? Quit your job? Car broke down? Don’t cry about it, take an Uber and deal with it later. Got stuck in traffic? Everyone else got here on time.

Nobody cares about your problems, so don’t let them be an excuse to underperform on any level.

Your excuses may be valid, but they do NOT make you exempt from your responsibilities.

You need to show up every day.

Success won’t happen to you; it happens because of you. We need to be consistent with our effort ad do things that will move the needle forward on a daily basis. The more times at-bat, the more likely you will conquer your goals. Even with a great network around you, showing up and putting in the time is essential for advancement.

So, flip that switch and grow stronger as you get older.

Let the things that you experience on a daily basis be your education and take control of your thoughts and actions.

Remember that everyone faces adversity, and a lot of successful people have had it tougher than you.

Nobody owes us anything and the sooner we realize that, the sooner we can become resilient to the small stuff that will hold up back.

Remember, the universe doesn’t care about your problems, so conquer them any way possible and attack life.

It goes by fast!!

Committed to your success,

Matt Espeut, GoLocal's Health & Lifestyle Contributor has been a personal trainer and health & fitness consultant for over 25 years. He is the owner of Fitness Profiles, a one on one, and small group personal training company, as well as Providence Fit Body Boot Camp, located at 1284 North Main St., on the Providence/Pawtucket line. You can reach Matt at (401) 453-3200; on Facebook at "Matt Espeut", and on Twitter at @MattEspeut. "We’re all in this life together – let’s make it a healthy one.