Fit for Life: Lots of “F” Words Here

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Saturday, August 10, 2019

Matt Espeut, GoLocalWorcester Health +Lifestyle Contributor

Matt Espeut

I heard a clip on the radio the other day about the 3 biggest regrets most people on their death beds have.

They are:

1.Not taking care of their health

2.Not traveling enough

3.Not enough time with the family

I’m not sure of the root of this statistic, however it resonated with me because after attending a 3-day intensive self-development / team building workshop a few weeks ago, I came back with a new set of goals.

It is ironic that the goals I have set for myself, are in line with the statistic I heard on the radio, and I refuse to wait until I’m on my deathbed to confess my life regrets because I want to die with NONE.

At the workshop, EVERY instructor hammered in our heads the 3 things that should be front and center in your life. They call it the 3 F’s that build the foundation of our lives and bring us the most meaning and joy. These 3 F’s get overlooked by a lot of people, and until it’s too late, we don’t even realize we have been neglecting them.

So, in order to avoid regret in our lives, it’s important to take immediate action and discipline ourselves to take control of what’s important to us and pay special attention and focus before it’s too late. Remember, the pain of discipline is far less than the pain of regret.

The first F is Family.

Whether it’s the family you create, or the genetic bloodline that you were born with, it’s important to acknowledge and spend time with the ones that matter the most. I am grouping girlfriends, boyfriends, and close personal friends in with this category, because it’s the people you care about that’s actually more important than your bloodline.

An example.

I was talking with my dad about him making an effort to see a distant cousin and potentially having dinner with her.

He replied, nah, I’ll go see her, but we don’t have enough in common to spend that much time together.

On the contrary, my mother will spend a week with a cousin she hasn’t seen or talked to in years just because they are her “family.” She has deep sentiment for family members, even when they don’t treat her that nicely, and I have trouble understanding that philosophy, so I focus my time on people I share mutual interest with.

I went with her to see her absentee dad before he died not because I cared, but I was curious and wanted to be able to say I met all 4 grandparents. He wasn’t a father to her, just a sperm donor, and I feel nothing for him as opposed to the other 3 that helped raise me. They are the ones that showed interest and love to me my whole life. They are my grandparents, not him, so being the same blood isn’t as important as the way someone impacted your life.

My goal is to focus on the immediate people in my circle and spend time with the people that bring me joy. I don’t feel obligated to spend time with people just because we are related.

I see my dad regularly, still visit my 95 year old grandmother weekly, and make it a point to call and see my mother on a regular basis, however I had been neglecting spending quality time with my girlfriend and nephew so I decided to make it one of my goals to change that situation. Now, every week I schedule a day to pick up my nephew and do something with him, as well as schedule a date night with my girlfriend where we get out of the house and our routine.

I also make the time to call at least 3 friends and colleagues on a weekly basis. I am friends with a handful of Fit Body Boot Camp owners, and still have a few longtime buddies that I touch base with regularly. I must admit, when I hang up the phone, I never regret it and it always puts a smile on my face when someone says “Thanks for the call, I’m glad you reached out”

The second F is Fitness.

Many people lack this because they lack self-integrity and have the deep feeling that they don’t matter that much.

However, when the shit hits the fan, it’s the first thing we regret NOT taking care of.

A person with great health has a thousand dreams and wishes, a sick person has only one.

I hear the excuses all day, every day. I wish I had the time. I’m busy with work. My kids have school, sports etc.

We’ll here’s a news flash…. none of that matters when you get sick or die.

Who needs who more? Do you NEED your kids, or do they NEED you?

Nobody needs kids. As a matter fact, many people would have an easier, less costly life without them (my parents would’ve) however they NEED you. Although they bring you joy, and make you proud, they would be lost without you.

So why is taking care of your fitness a low priority to most people?

Think deep about the repercussions of you leading an unhealthy life.

Everything is harder to do, life sucks when you are sick and not feeling 100%, and when you get older, it burdens your kids you care so much about, because they need to deal with your sickness and possible untimely death.

So not only are you hurting yourself by neglecting your fitness, you are placing strain on everyone around you.

The last F is your Finances.

Under the umbrella of finances, we can add 3 more F’s. Fun, Freedom, and Fulfillment, because that’s what making money is all about.

Money creates freedom because you can technically buy more time by paying other people to help you accomplish daily tasks.

It’s a win win. You help someone earn a living, and that allows you more time.

By having more time, you can travel and do fun things.

You can also help provide for the people you care about and that brings fulfillment.

Many people put this first, myself included, however it’s a double edge sword.

You spend countless hours stressing about your finances, then we lose sight of what we are grinding for.

Because you work so much, you don’t have time for family and your fitness.

When that happens, both start to diminish, and if you wait too long, it can become irreversible. Divorce, custody battles, cancer, obesity and any other chronic disease are not fun even with millions in the bank.

To sum it up, I will never stop associating with the people I care about.

I will never stop training like an animal or eating clean.

And I will certainly never stop trying to earn more money by helping more people change their lives, however I will always set new goals, work on improving myself, and prioritize what’s important in life.

My suggestion is that you do too.

Before it’s too late.

Regret won’t change anything, but action will.

Committed to your success,

Matt Espeut, GoLocal's Health & Lifestyle Contributor has been a personal trainer and health & fitnesss consultant for over 25 years. He is the owner of Fitness Profiles, a one on one, and small group personal training company, as well as Providence Fit Body Boot Camp, located at 1284 North Main St., on the Providence/Pawtucket line. You can reach Matt at (401) 453-3200; on Facebook at "Matt Espeut", and on Twitter at @MattEspeut. "We’re all in this life together – let’s make it a healthy one.